Why does this Happen to me?

That my eyes search over, as I always want to you!
That my heart feels full too a fill, it scares me..
That my world goes upside down, when I feel I'm you within.

That my mind just fills on you, thoughts and smells and woo,
I wonder why this happens to me, ever since I met you!

That I love my lonely-self more than before since I know that you value,
That I learned to take my care - be fair, for I want to impress you!
That I feel so incomplete between my fingers and search for yours in our bed,
That the void within gets completely filled.

You have become my thoughts, my mind, my love, my regards, my respect, my air I want to breathe..
I don't know if this is love,
For love I know could fade, but when you reciprocate all for more, I pray it stay..
I don't know what more to give -  me, myself or my soul...

I dont care a Damn...

Sometimes I have a feel that being in the open air actually cuts my imaginations. There is a sense to tied down feel. I know, that, in turn hampers my flow and then I feel that I did the biggest mistake by closing down my previous blog.

I understand virtuality here.People want to be in disguise all the time. I really appriciated blogging ever since I started doing it. It used to be my platform where I could actually vent out all those hidden outbursts in me. I have been writing so that I have the relief of being open to someone somewhere.. I always wanted to be heard, to be consoled.. may be criticised and also cuddled, since I was tired of being a teen..

Somewhere the nasty teen in me got all the happiness I wanted when I blogged. Like all, I wanted to be someone else, and there I had everywindow to be someone else. Or may be I wanted to be myself - my true self and I really did want to tell the world things I never dared to say in real surroundings - I dont care a damn!!



 

This Pain...

What is Wrong with me?

I didn't get raped, my flesh didn't tear!
No drops ever smeared for me!
I didn't cry to fame, nor roar for justice!
I didn't lose my life, nor did I become a nations' sorrow!
No one "facebooks" about me!

But I have a pain!!
A Pain that leaves me sleepless!
The pain of being one who can create another and destroy another of my kind!
The  lunatic pain of being a daughter, a sister, a mother, a lover and a wife!
A pain of being a woman !

Is this a pain? A Shame?
For us being the force and the resource to just be manipulated?
For all the whims and fantasies and also the wild thrusts anytime?
To be killed every minute - in the womb, in a vehicle, in a home?
As a baby, as a child, as a teen, a youth or a oldie..

Wrong as how I am!! 

Valued Livings.

Every "normal child" has a disability and every "disabled kid" is blessed with an ability. If he is given a environment to grow, then what is a normal kid and what is an abnormal kid. Every kind of kid has to grow up together be it from different creed and culture. It cannot be put together at a later stage, it has to be inculcated from the day he starts interacting. EG: The disabiled kid should be allowed to grow in a value system which is not corrupt. EG: Suppose a disabled child's parents thinks twice before taking him to a party after he has grown up, parent will not take him there because that child is not ready for such an Environment. If he had been put into that system from Day 1, these things would have been far more normal.Let him not be discriminated from Day 1. You are limiting a kid from accessing knowledge. You are not allowing him to be independent just because you believe he is disabled? How ridiculous??


When we cant handle criticism completely and go ahead with being judged, how can we be so judgmental.
People say that you get what you give but I did not get what I gave to this world. So the question is where is the value based learning practices moving to?

Very unknown people..

What once was a intimate relation means nothing to me right now..

I sometimes get surprised on my own vividness on realizing that some people just came over to my life to just put a sign and then later as time passed away as their sign with the fountain nibs washed off by the ink marks and the impressions stay by till it too get corroded by the moments of unshaken realities to follow.

Every person is so very special but yet seizes to remain special. So, one who is very vulnerable and valuable today, changes to someone who is totally unknown and becomes like a used tissue tomorrow (not because of grudge) but life makes its scoops wisely you like it or not..

Reality..

Now -er-days I have started realizing that I was living in a cocoon world where my things worked according to what dad and mom thought about my "things". Now getting on to the world that my dad used to call the "actual world" I realize that people are so rash and irrational.

People cant get the pains of others and they tend to be so manipulative.. They tend to be super mean and ruthless. They don't really care because all of them are actually believing to create a world for themselves a cocoon world where the original people are literally they don't know if they are chopping someone else's heart..

Oh yea, I forgot that there is nothing like someone in anyone's own cocoon world. I have mostly not been able to try and get the mentality of people to understand the other..

Affinity to the past...

MAN immortal happily gets used to the stuff he has already been using or get to do first may be.. but then people bring changed to destroy his level of comfort and by the time he gets accustomed to the new innovated thing people re create it over to something else.

WE say change is the only constant thing in this world but people do forget that there are some things that cant be changed - unfortunately not.. while we say change is common we forget that the past always governs and decided our present and the choices need to be respected. the present unfortunately is going to be changed and we cant be belonged to anywhere.. nothing called belonging to anyone or anywhere or anything.. all is/will change..